Good writing tends to draw an image in the reader’s mind instead of just telling the reader what to think or believe. Readers are smart! We can read through the lines! Give us some credit!
Today, I issued a challenge to my students: Jazz up one of the sentences below by drawing an image to let the reader "see" the passage.
Grandma was angry.
Alex was tired.
The dog was happy.
Check out these student samples! Would you rather read a story with the (boring) sentences above, or with the vivid details below?
Grandma barged down the hall. She was beat red in the face and I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. I cowered as she came up to me. Her bent stature seemed two times taller than before as she glared down at me. Gripping my ear, she pulled me back down the hall. ~By Andrew
Alex slowly pushed the warm blanket off from over his body. He swung his feet over the edge of his bed and let them land lightly on the floor. His eyelids weighed down almost so that he couldn't see. He worked up enough strength to drag his feet along the floor as he sluggishly made it to breakfast. ~ By Sterling
Before I entered through the door I could hear the whining and the tail knocking things over. I could hear her claws hitting the hard wood as she jumped to look at the window to see if I was coming. She started to lick the windows as she was whining at me to say hello. She jumped and put her paws on my chest, pushed me over and started to lick my face with her big slobbery tongue. ~ By Dayzi
Click here to watch our Show (Don't Tell) lesson online.
Nicely done kids!
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