Showing posts with label Show Don't Tell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Show Don't Tell. Show all posts
Friday, October 12, 2012 3 comments

Show Me the Story!



This week in Creative Writing, we learned about making our writing more descriptive by showing the reader what is happening in the scene. Good writing tends to draw an image in the reader’s mind instead of just telling the reader what to think or believe. Readers are smart! We can read through the lines! Give us some credit!

If you find your writing feeling flat, particularly fiction or narrative nonfiction writing, step back and imagine your scene yourself. What sounds do you hear? What smells are in the air? What expression does your character have on his face? What are his motivations? Once you are deeper in your own imagination, see if you can make your writing better by adding a few specifics and transporting the readers to the scene you have in your mind. (Grammar Girl)

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The following description was written by Jordan.
Can you imagine Tommy in your head as you read?

    Tommy was one of those kids.  He was one those kids that people would look at and get angry.  He went to a school where he would pull pranks on the teacher, and annoy his classmates.  Sometimes, he would pull pranks on the wrong person and would get beat up, but he didn’t care. He liked what he did.

    One day, he came up with the best prank he’d ever thought up.  He was going to fill up a big inflatable swimming pool in the classroom, and fill it with goldfish.  He spent a long time devising how he would pull this off, and when the time came, he was ready.  He snuck out of his house and rushed down to the school.  The next morning, the teacher walked to her door, opened it up, saw the pool, and muttered to herself, “Tommy.”  

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Nice job, Jordan! What is the golden line? Pick your favorite word or sentence from the description above and type it in the comment box.
 
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 7 comments

Show Don't Tell

Good writing tends to draw an image in the reader’s mind instead of just telling the reader what to think or believe. Readers are smart! We can read through the lines! Give us some credit!

Today, I issued a challenge to my students: Jazz up one of the sentences below by drawing an image to let the reader "see" the passage.

Grandma was angry.
Alex was tired.
The dog was happy.

Check out these student samples! Would you rather read a story with the (boring) sentences above, or with the vivid details below?

Grandma barged down the hall. She was beat red in the face and I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. I cowered as she came up to me. Her bent stature seemed two times taller than before as she glared down at me. Gripping my ear, she pulled me back down the hall.        ~By Andrew

Alex slowly pushed the warm blanket off from over his body. He swung his feet over the edge of his bed and let them land lightly on the floor. His eyelids weighed down almost so that he couldn't see. He worked up enough strength to drag his feet along the floor as he sluggishly made it to breakfast.   ~ By Sterling

Before I entered through the door I could hear the whining and the tail knocking things over. I could hear her claws hitting the hard wood as she jumped to look at the window to see if I was coming. She started to lick the windows as she was whining at me to say hello. She jumped and put her paws on my chest, pushed me over and started to lick my face with her big slobbery tongue.      ~ By Dayzi

Click here to watch our Show (Don't Tell) lesson online.

Nicely done kids!
 
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